The Many Half Thoughts of Gourry Gabriev
by Leafwhistler
Summary: Ever wonder what Gourry was really thinking about? A quick fic dedicated to a misunderstood genius. Not meant to be deep in anyway. Read for a good laugh or if you're a science nerd like me. Science nerds of the world unite! Rated to be safe.


**Author' Note**

I'm editing the next chapter of 'Lina Gets a Curse' right now. I swear. But in order to post that, I needed to get this out first. I can't tell you why. This isn't as obsessively proofread or thought out as my other stories, but let me know what you think of this one shot.

Someone recently lent me the first 6 books of the Slayers Manga. I had never read them before (and actually avoid Manga if I can…hey, if I'm paying that much money somebody should at least make the pictures move for me. I am inherently lazy like that.) Since there were very few pictures, the book and I got along pretty well. And I discovered a fondness for Gourry other than as a comic relief. My writer's itch decided he needed the chance to be smart with a plausible reason for sounding dumb all the time. So a story dedicated to a misunderstood genius and a chance to be nerdy in my fanfic.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Slayers or the Theory of general relativity.

* * *

It was light all around him. He felt so cramped. The place he sat was too small for his hulking body. But the scene was familiar and slightly comforting. He inhaled the aroma of chalk dust. A figure loomed over him.

"Finished already? Let me see your slate."

The man tsked about his handwriting, before nodding in satisfaction. "You get faster all the time."

Gourry waited anxiously for his next problem. But his beloved tutor just sat in front of him. "Son, there is something you need to know."

The blonde swordsman waited patiently. His tutor seemed to be struggling with his words. That was something Gourry understood well, often having that problem himself. There was something tricky about words. The ideas always lined up so perfectly in one's head. But as soon as you tried to explain them to other people, they all fell apart. It must be a really good idea if his father was having this much trouble. He watched the man across from him intently and noticed, to his great surprise, tears forming in his eyes. Gourry grew somber. This wasn't an exciting lesson. Something dreadful was coming.

"Son, you have trained to the highest degree possible with your body. Your skills are finely honed and your response time is lightening sharp. We've taught you all you ever need to know about the Sword of Light. We raised you in a family where you had to be quick on your wits, lest the Sword you worked so hard to obtain be wrest from you. After today you will be free to stay here as long as you like, so you can decide what in life is the most important. Find it Gourry. Whatever it may be."

And so it was that Gourry Gabriev had eventually left his home in pursuit of the secret of life. But finding it was harder than he anticipated. So many false starts, so many useless leads, so many thoughts half…A screeching interrupted his current quandary.

"…are you even listening to me jellyfish for brains?"

Gourry tried to pull his thoughts together quickly. Lina had been talking about something important. At least that's what he thought. That's why he followed her after all. This little slip of a girl knew practically everything. So he was sure that if he followed her he'd find out what was most important in life. Because if she didn't know, she'd blow up things until she found someone or something that did. Unfortunately, she seemed to fireball or Dragon Slave everything in an immediate radius, just to be sure she didn't miss anything by accident. And unless he was very quick, he was next.

"Ummm…yes? Something about Shabbydingo?"

The red head was furious. Apparently, he'd missed the boat. Thankfully their meal was far from finished. He was saved by the timely arrival of more breakfast items. That was what made mealtimes the most productive times to think. Lina was usually distracted enough to save Gourry from pyrotechnic experiences until the meal was almost totally complete. There was a brief jostling for food until both parties were satisfied. The sassy sorceress sagged before snatching the last egg on her fork. She held it theatrically in the air.

"Imagine that this egg is the world…"

He knew that Lina would try explaining again, buying him more time to think. Not that he needed to know the details of what was happening. His job in this companionship was to stick his sword into things until they were dead. She would do as much as she deemed necessary and then watch. He was used to it though. And she'd talk up a storm of insults to the people they were defeating. Little Miss Motormouth all day long. It was hard to stay mad at her for doing it though. The sorceress was awfully cute when she was explaining something. The blonde swordsman shook his head. Time to think about that later when she wasn't around to notice. Lina got so fussy if she thought you were admiring her.

In the meantime, there should be plenty of times to finish his calculations about battle in enclosed arenas given an opponent with a refractory sword. Given a room at say, 300 furlongs, and an elliptical shape, the volume should equate to 7140.6 square furlongs. And given an opponent with an average to medium tall build with a refraction rating of 0.62 Coulombs…. Gourry smiled as he eased into a world filled with little egg shaped clouds, oblivious to the petite sorceress' ramblings. Of course it was completely theoretical, but wouldn't it be nice if it happened some day? Almost as nice as if Lina would actually pay for one of their meals…

~~~***~~~

Walking places was always nice. It was another activity in which his brain could be completely preoccupied. No use getting attached to the landscape. With Lina around, it most likely wouldn't stay this way. Gourry's blue eyes settled upon the chimera in front of him. That seemed like a good problem to work on for a while. Overall, Zildagis was faster and ultimately more powerful this way, but Gourry understood what it was like to have your family thrust obligations on you without asking. As a friend, he should apply his mind on a solution for his rocky friend. Perhaps that would stop those depressed sighs and the sidelong glances he kept shooting the little princess. Yes, that should occupy his mind nicely.

The chimera couldn't be completely made of rock, because all stone has some level of permeability. Zel sweat occasionally, though not often. Many different rocks could actually sweat water given the optimal temperature and correct level of humidity. However, if it was too cold, the rock would actually shatter. So that solution was out.

But if the chimera was a fusion of different creatures, then it must be possible to separate them. After all, demons and rocks and people all had different astral settings. His mind stretched back to something he'd seen his father complain about—his wine turning into vinegar if it was bottled incorrectly. Some things weren't meant to mix. Air and wine eventually turned into vinegar. Air was the ingredient that caused it to separate again. A voice punctuated his thoughts but he wasn't listening.

"…stop here for the night. What do you think, Gourry?"

Gourry walked into something and put his hands out to catch himself. It bent a little but it was upright and solid. It must be a tree. Unfortunately, he was too distracted by his current thought process to look down.

That's what chimeras were wasn't it? A mix of astral beings. And they stayed that way because they were then sealed off from the astral plane they were made in. That's what he'd heard Lina say. She tended to be right about these kinds og things. Chimeras had to be specially made to mix, just like wine. So the trick to curing Zel should be to find the right 'environment' of astral space and then he'd just…wait a second. This tree was amazingly soft. Was it a tree? He squeezed once to check. No, definitely not a tree. Then what had caught his fall? Gourry looked down into the angry gaze of a sorceress extraordinaire.

"Pervert!"

The world went black for a while. When he awoke Amelia told his he was lucky to be alive. She'd asked him what he'd been thinking, but Gourry couldn't remember. It was a complete blank. For the rest of the night the swordsman couldn't shake the feeling that he'd been on the verge of learning something important. But what?

~~~***~~~

So that purple smiling guy would be a really tough fight. The way that he kept disappearing and reappearing was a huge tip off. Gouverra would also surge slightly each time he spoke. The priest was a monster through and through. And a pretty powerful one at that. The swordsman wondered briefly if he should tell Lina about Xeltosy, but she probably already knew. She must be waiting for the most dramatic moment to announce it. She did love to grandstand. He shrugged as the monster continued to tease her.

This mountain was pretty steep. Gourry wondered briefly why they were climbing it. Oh yeah—some important book of another. Gourry wondered briefly if he should tell Lina that there was another little monster trailing them. He must be in league with the purple guy. But Lina got pretty testy about be interrupted and she was in deep conversation with the Trickster Priest. Best leave it until later. In the meantime, he'd just keep an eye on the little guy until matters got serious. He had the uneasy feeling that the little guy would be worse to deal with than the smiley guy any day of the week. And the way the kid possessively smiled at them worried him too. He didn't look like he'd ever been taught to play nicely with his toys. He might even give Lina a run for his money.

Not too long after that several high ranking monsters appeared and, without meaning to, Gourry completely forgot what it was Lina needed to be told.

~~~***~~~

It was a common thought that had plagued him about the Sword of Light. And now there were several weapons sporting that form of energy, even if they had been removed from this plane forever. He sighed a little, missing his faithful old companion. Good swords were hard to find. Still, the mystery of Gouverra had always nagged at him. The power that emitted from it always increased exponentially. And, having been taught in the ways of observation, it had always bothered him that he hadn't been able to quantify it better. How was it that both he and Lina got similar results from harnessing the sword's power? And what made arrows of light more effective than wielding it directly, like in the form of a sword? It must have to do with the degree of separation between them. The damage from the light seemed to increase when wielded independently from the user. It must have to do with the speed of the light and how it moved. Acceleration was the key. The speed of light cubed, no squared…times how much a person weighed… The energy was equal to the person's mass times that of the light's….

"Earth to Gourry!" The sorceress was tapping her foot methodically, a look of severe displeasure crossing her face.

And he hadn't the slightest clue what was happening. Best fess up to it now. "Sorry—I wasn't listening."

"We were just talking about the latest threat to the destruction of the whole earth and you're lost in your thoughts again? I don't know why I even try! Arghhh…Fireball!"

Gourry brushed himself off. It must be getting closer to that time of the month again. Given the distance between her and him, he should have been unconscious for at least two minutes. He sighed a well practiced sigh of martyrdom. There went that thought again. So many times he'd almost had it. And underlying it was the assurance that if he ever did finish that thought, that the course of the world would change.

The brawny, if not obviously brainy, swordsman shrugged. That was the danger of traveling with Lina. His eyes strayed to the small figure in front of him. Huffy as she was there was something appealing about the way she stormed into the distance. Gourry lengthened his stride as the red head crested the hill in front of them. Perhaps, someday, he'd finish that thought and the many others he'd had. But if not…some things were worth giving up in the pursuit of something greater.


End file.
